No other way of life can be as satisfactory and joyous than this. I have been constantly commissioned by God for this past year. Each message woke me up and inspired me; but I did not respond enough. I couldn’t hear any specific and practical commands, so I asked; but I did not ask enough. I guess I was afraid and reluctant all throughout, and life seemed to flow just fine without me doing my newly received duties. It was a series of messages – I don’t even know where to start. I’ll just mention a few. I’ve always wanted to be a missionary. Because I have only one life, I wanted to do something entirely worthy. Full-time ministry was the job for me. Even so, I was lazy. Other than ministering through friendships (even this not to unbelievers), I was, and still am, an inactive missionary. I know that I am young and that I have academics as priority, but God commanded and commissioned me now, and age is not a problem to the Creator. When I moved to this city, the Spirit pointed out to me a few people, ranging from a street-food seller to an isolated friend in school to a strong atheist senior. That was three and a half years ago. Last December during a retreat, I was inspired and reminded by a sermon about how we believers are Christ’s soldiers (Christ’s Soldier – Prologue). I was passionate about telling others and writing it down, but I didn’t know what else to do about it. It faded away. In January, the Spirit spoke through my daily devotionals and reminded me about this duty. I was reading through 2 Timothy, and this book is all about telling the Gospel. I was challenged, but again, I did not know what exactly to do. In a country where telling the Gospel is illegal, I can’t just randomly talk to a street-food seller about Jesus. I knew I needed to begin building a trust-relationship, but… how? So it faded away. This week, I was especially hungry for God’s Word. I was starving spiritually. After a series of challenges, this woke me and alerted me: Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be?
You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. 2 Peter 3:11-12a
This is when I realized that there really is no point to my life right now, even though I am enjoying the simplicity of it and enjoying my ministry in friendships and my fellowship with God, if I don’t go all in. (I will write about this verse in more detail in another post.) I realize that I do know what I should do – build relationships with those who are already revealed to me by the Spirit. And from then on, I must ask (Matthew 7:7). I am willing to spend time everyday to pray about this mission God is giving me. So this is my journey, my growing process of becoming God’s messenger. I will never ever regret choosing this rocky, narrow road, for there is no life better than this. A life of serving God and thus worshiping Him – there is nothing more satisfactory and joyous than this. —- I hope to continue to share about my progress in my missions, however small and insignificant it is in worldly standards. I want to use this as a testimony of how an ordinary student can be a significant messenger of the Good News. Also, this will keep me accountable. Thank you for reading, and please join me in this journey. 🙂