The Creatures Within Me

An untamed creature

makes my heart its abode

A creature which roars, rolls over and cries,

melts down, rises, then explodes…

Sentiment, they call it,

this separate entity which lives within.

It duels Reason, clawing it like a beast,

and Reason, standing firm and strong,

bears the pain; it shall not give in.

The dichotomy is torment,

the tearing of what must be one.

Hark, ye Sentiment, submit to Reason,

And ye Reason, tame Sentiment

and place him at the highest servant position.

Yet how can they listen

to the voice of a distant spectator.

How odd, how curious my personhood,

that I am not one but three,

and the third with no voice.


You gat this!…?

The marvelous truth is, it is far better that I don’t have this together, that I am incapable of handling my works, for it is then that the Almighty takes complete control, and then that I depend completely on Him. It is then that I am absolutely certain of the good that will come, for Goodness Himself is working with His hands. It is also then that I am unquestionably certain as to whom the glory belongs.
Hence in my weakness His power is more glorified.

So Sarah, you gaaat this?
I don’t gat this.
He’s gaat this.

—-2 Corinthians 12:8-10

Blind Faith

The once confident brain who reasoned “of course” now taper, disentangle, and break away its reasonings that were based – now that I observe it – on simple tellings of the of the simple-minded. I feel deceived, at awe at my ignorance, yet holding unto a string of doubt – that I may not make the same mistake again.

Just before opening a new posting tab, I had tens of theological and scientific sites opened, with debates, information, and apologetics with regard to two controversial theories: Young Earth Creation and Old Earth Creation. Now, I am a Christian who believe that God created every single specimen and substances of earth and the universe by His Word and did not simply initiate a long sequence of evolution. However, after today’s encounter with new information, I am yet to believe in when God created.

I admit that the matter of the age of earth is trivial and does not influence spiritual salvation, but it does bother me to realize that I had been so convinced to regard a perfectly reasonable and Bible-based theory an unexcusable fallacy. (I’m telling you guys – what ever you believe in, make sure you know the other theories before discarding them. You might miss out on the truth because of predisposed, blind faith. Truth can and should always be tested, because if it really is Truth, it will reveal itself to those who seek it.)

And so today I learned that even as a solid Christian I am to continue seeking truth, and acknowledge that God is a wise and incredibly, unimaginably, intelligent Being. This means I don’t have to blindly follow wherever the Christian crowd goes in their doctrines. I have the Bible, the Holy Spirit, and God’s laws in nature to guide me through these belief-decisions.

I hope you learn that too: Faith is not blind. It is remembering what your reason has once accepted and trusting that it remains to be true despite your present moods and circumstances. (A mix-paraphrase of C.S.Lewis’ quotes).

Now I have to deal with the age of earth thing. eeeeeeeeek.