Sometimes I just need encouragement, you know. I know how the story will end, but, it feels harder than it should be. And all that has been going on in my mind is – I won’t make it.
The fact is…I will. I just need to have faith.
One of the hardest things in being a Christian is that you know so many things, but it is hard to make it really happen. I know that I need to be patient, but just imagining the days to come scare me. I know that I need to persevere, but I’m tired, distracted, and discouraged. I know that God will handle it all, that I have to do my best, but I doubt my best and end up not trying my hardest. Society seems to keep pushing me, and I know there’s a way out of here, but all I feel is the rocky wall moving in closer. UP – I have to look UP. But it’s not that easy.
The hardest part is that God has done all He had promised and all He could: He constantly gives me specific instructions, tells me that I will eventually succeed, gives me a friend that I can lean on, gives so many opportunities, and pours out His word on me. The hardest part is that despite all this, I still choose to feel discouraged and cry out “why”.
Honestly, this whole dramatic scenario isn’t that big of a deal. I was commissioned to minister through friendships (which He gave me…a lot.) and also study for an upcoming examination (which I chose to take. Voluntarily.) But time seems to be speeding up from dripping to trickling to pouring out like a waterfall. Too many opportunities for ministry gets me tired and leaves no time for studying. I can almost see myself failing the exam, which won’t satisfy me. And through it all God is saying “just trust Me.”
Sometimes, I just need an encouragement, you know. But the fault is mine. My God is constantly encouraging me, whispering me that I can, that He will help, but I closed off my ears and disregarded His encouragement. God wants my best, not success. And He says that I can do my best, and that in doing so, I will put on His face the biggest smile.
I have all the encouragement I need.