It always takes effort.
I lead a fasting prayer group every Wednesday lunch. By leading, I mean, just strumming the guitar, singing what comes to mind, and saying what I feel God telling me. A small group of believers come and we pray for the school, that believers will be brighter lights and that unbelievers would have soft hearts. The hard thing is that it is a fasting group. It isn’t easy, after waiting all morning, breakfast-less, to realize that it’s Wednesday, and then give it all up for one reason: it’s for God.
I’m a person who can’t say “no” easily, especially to things I know God wants me to do. I can’t simply ignore a calling, so long as I know it’s God’s command. I know this is an incredibly great quality, but sometimes it gets really tiring. Often I say yes to someone seeking advice, still thinking apprehensively about the massive workload I have and the amount of sleep I’ve been (not) getting. These one-on-one private fellowship and mentoring could take hours, and I don’t just do one per day.
I am definitely not a morning person, but I strongly feel God wanting to meet Him in the morning, before everything gets busy, before my thoughts are filled with something else. But waking up half an hour early is not easy. Staying up during that half hour is a challenge. Rushing out to school without breakfast isn’t the best feeling either.
It really takes effort to make these decisions according to what pleases the Lord. It is like standing at the edge of a 10-meter diving board and looking down into the water. I speak from experience – I stayed up there for about an hour. I watched other people hesitate, jump, then shout back: IT’S AWESSSSOME!!!! COME ON!! And I just stood there being like NOPE NOPE NOPE Nohhhp.
In the end, I jumped. It was truly the hardest decision in my 16 year life. And it. Was. Amazing.
I won’t describe it for you, go try it yourself. My point is, after every single decision I made that pleased God, I never regret it. Once I leave the cafeteria and sit among some of my best friends, who also gave up their food, I feel full. Worshiping together, sharing, and praying together for each prayer request becomes my happiest moment – every time I do it. Once I put away my books and work load and focus on this friend, love pours out from me. S/he opens up to me, tells me all these testimonies, and allows me to point to God! Every time, I become God’s messenger, God’s mirror, God’s vessel of blessing. How precious is that. Once I get up, slap myself out of bed, and open my Bible, I start listening. God would speak to me in His gentle whispers and affectionate words. He would encourage me, sympathize with me, and just hang out with me. It is literally reading God’s personal love letters. All day I would be skipping and bouncing and floating about – I would be filled with His joy.
Yes, I get hungry on Wednesday afternoons, I often stay up very late finishing my work, and I sometimes sleep in class (sorry Mr.B..hehe).
“Jesus said to them, ‘My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work.'” John 4:34
We as Christians are being molded to become like Jesus. One aspect of it is in our satisfaction. We will not be content with anything until we do the will of Him who sent us. But once we do it, it will satisfy us like sushi and chocolate satisfies cravings, and it will bring a smile on His face.
So now, JUMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!