I Wish I Wasn’t the Only One.

Sometimes, I wish I wasn’t the only one.
I wish I wasn’t the only one to stay positive and look to the benefits of school classes. When everyone is complaining about the teacher, I wish someone else would agree with me that in the end, this class will be very helpful and this test is to help us succeed. I wish I didn’t have to choose between utterly silencing myself or utterly silencing the majority, silence with eyes of disapproval and abandonment.
I wish I wasn’t the only one to consider other people’s interests, to know that someone needs a kind friend instead of isolation.
I wish I wasn’t the only one to feel compelled towards reaching out, to feel compassion towards the unheard and unbeliving. I wish I didn’t have to walk this journey alone.
And though I am surrounded with “Christians”…..I am walking this journey…alone.
I wish for one more thing..
I wish that I knew and acknowledged this one true fact: I am never the only one, I am never alone, and I am walking this journey with someone far greater than an extraordinary friend.
I am walking with the Holy Spirit.
So I will endure. He is really all I need.


“Reaching” – Context

No other way of life can be as satisfactory and joyous than this. I have been constantly commissioned by God for this past year. Each message woke me up and inspired me; but I did not respond enough. I couldn’t hear any specific and practical commands, so I asked; but I did not ask enough. I guess I was afraid and reluctant all throughout, and life seemed to flow just fine without me doing my newly received duties. It was a series of messages – I don’t even know where to start. I’ll just mention a few. I’ve always wanted to be a missionary. Because I have only one life, I wanted to do something entirely worthy. Full-time ministry was the job for me. Even so, I was lazy. Other than ministering through friendships (even this not to unbelievers), I was, and still am, an inactive missionary. I know that I am young and that I have academics as priority, but God commanded and commissioned me now, and age is not a problem to the Creator. When I moved to this city, the Spirit pointed out to me a few people, ranging from a street-food seller to an isolated friend in school to a strong atheist senior. That was three and a half years ago. Last December during a retreat, I was inspired and reminded by a sermon about how we believers are Christ’s soldiers (Christ’s Soldier – Prologue). I was passionate about telling others and writing it down, but I didn’t know what else to do about it. It faded away. In January, the Spirit spoke through my daily devotionals and reminded me about this duty. I was reading through 2 Timothy, and this book is all about telling the Gospel. I was challenged, but again, I did not know what exactly to do. In a country where telling the Gospel is illegal, I can’t just randomly talk to a street-food seller about Jesus. I knew I needed to begin building a trust-relationship, but… how? So it faded away. This week, I was especially hungry for God’s Word. I was starving spiritually. After a series of challenges, this woke me and alerted me: Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be?

You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. 2 Peter 3:11-12a

This is when I realized that there really is no point to my life right now, even though I am enjoying the simplicity of it and enjoying my ministry in friendships and my fellowship with God, if I don’t go all in. (I will write about this verse in more detail in another post.) I realize that I do know what I should do – build relationships with those who are already revealed to me by the Spirit. And from then on, I must ask (Matthew 7:7). I am willing to spend time everyday to pray about this mission God is giving me. So this is my journey, my growing process of becoming God’s messenger. I will never ever regret choosing this rocky, narrow road, for there is no life better than this. A life of serving God and thus worshiping Him – there is nothing more satisfactory and joyous than this. —- I hope to continue to share about my progress in my missions, however small and insignificant it is in worldly standards. I want to use this as a testimony of how an ordinary student can be a significant messenger of the Good News. Also, this will keep me accountable. Thank you for reading, and please join me in this journey. 🙂

Christ’s Soldier – Prologue

I was standing among other soldiers in a strict formation, waiting for instructions.

“Will you or will you not accept your duties?!” shouted the general.

“Sir, yes, sir!” we shouted back in unison. After a moment of silence, a gentle smile spread across the general’s stiff lips.

“At ease, soldiers.” he said, rather quietly. “They, the enemy’s citizens, are out there waiting to be killed in war. Soldiers, they deserve a chance to live. If they choose us, they will become your brothers, your family, and your people. Your duty is to rescue them before the enemy’s kingdom perishes and to bring them safely so that they could join our victory.”

In silence, he turned his back to us and looked out at the battle field. It was peaceful; there were no cries, no shootings, no hasty steps. It was serene, as though the war never started.

“Remember, soldiers, that you are not attacking or defending.” he said, as he turned around.

“We need none of that – the war is already in our hands. You soldiers are on the search team – to find our hidden citizens-to-be. You will be attacked, you will be shot. But remember, you will not die. Our kingdom gives you a neverending life – so soldiers, this one is an order – give it your all.”

“Sir, yes, sir!”


I speak to those who have decided to become a follower of Jesus Christ:

What are we doing in the battlefield? Are we lounging about behind some protective wall, hidden from the dangers? Are we afraid, shy, or even worse – lazy?

Did we not commit our life to God, the General, the Commander of angel armies? And did we not receive His order to tell the good news? Our God is so in love with humanity that He is gladly willing to delay His glorious victory; but in the midst of that, what are you doing? Should you not love them with the same love, reach out to them with the same hands, take the risk to experience the same pain and humiliation, give them a chance?

Our general says “Go. Do not delay our victory any longer. Bring them back to me, into my arms.”

“And soldiers, this one is an order,” says Jesus Christ, the majestic, almighty, but compassionate God,

“Give it your all”